Cleaning Humor

Cleaning can either make you laugh or cry - since we have the choice, I say - LAUGH!

One-Liners

The best way to get rid of kitchen odors is to eat out.

Doing housework while your kids are still at home is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing. We say perfume disappears because of evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

You know you’re really broke when you finally clean your house hoping to find change.

Always keep several get well cards on the mantle, so if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you’ve been sick and unable to clean.

Definitions

Clothes Dryer: A household appliance designed to eat socks.

Feedback: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Full Name: what you call your child when you're mad at him.

Hearsay: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Independent: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings

Puddle: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Sterilize: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.

Top Bunk: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies

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